If you have undergone gastric bypass or another weight loss surgery, it might be nice to hear someone say how good you look, especially if you have lost a great deal of weight. But comments like those can also feel like backhanded compliments, the underlying message being how awful you looked before. Unfortunately, not everyone understands what it’s like to go through weight loss surgery and insensitive comments are almost inevitable. Whether they are simply knowing looks or words spoken loud and clear, comments about weight loss can sting, no matter who it is delivering them. Even people who think they are giving you a sincere compliment can end up unintentionally hurting your feelings or saying the wrong thing.  

How you react to insensitive comments about your weight loss depends on your relationship with the person making the comment. If it’s a stranger or someone you don’t know well, you might ignore the comment, acknowledge it and then redirect the conversation or simply change the subject. If it’s someone you know well, you might consider using the comment as an opportunity to reframe the situation and invite that person into a more meaningful conversation. Maybe you struggled with overeating before your surgery or felt overwhelmed by stress and that led to your weight gain. By sharing your story, you can give that person a better idea of what you are dealing with and help them understand how comments about your weight loss make you feel. Whatever your specific situation, if you find yourself unsure of how to handle an insensitive comment about your weight loss, consider the following five tips. 

1. Kill ‘em with kindness

Perhaps the best thing you can do when someone makes a rude comment about your weight loss - either in person or online - is to respond with a compliment. By choosing to be the bigger person and refusing to engage with that person, the comment automatically loses its power over you. It also shifts the dynamic and forces the commenter to accept the fact that what they said about your weight was inappropriate.  

2. Tell them how healthy you feel

Weight loss surgery isn’t just about losing weight. It’s also about eating a better diet, living a healthier lifestyle and reducing your risk for serious or potentially life-threatening weight-related health problems, like high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke. Weight loss doctors estimate that patients with severe obesity who undergo weight loss surgery reduce their risk of developing heart disease by as much as 40%. If someone comments on your weight loss, you can simply redirect the conversation and tell them how much healthier you have been feeling lately.  

3. Be vocal about your discomfort

If the person who makes the comment is a close friend or family member, don’t be afraid to tell that person how it makes you feel to have them comment on your weight loss. If they care about you, chances are, they had no intention of making you feel uncomfortable and will avoid the topic in future exchanges. 

4. Change the subject

If you don’t feel comfortable sharing your feelings with the commenter, the quickest way to get out of an insensitive conversation about your weight loss is to change the subject. It may take a few times before the person realizes you don’t want to discuss it, but eventually, they will figure it out and move on. 

5. Remove yourself from the situation

There comes a point when your other options fail and you simply have to remove yourself from the situation. It’s one thing to occasionally deflect comments about your weight, but if it’s becoming a regular occurrence with a certain person or group of people, consider spending less time around that person or group. You don’t have to accept being constantly barraged with rude comments about your weight.

The Best Bariatric Care in California

BASS Bariatric Surgery Center and Dr. Brian T. Chin offers some of the best bariatric care in northern California. Our team is ready to make you as comfortable as possible during your recovery from your surgery. If you are interested in gastric bypass surgery and want to know more, contact our expert bariatric surgeons to find out if this surgery is right for you.